Loki's Discomfort
by Braveheart57
Summary: Loki finds his prison cell EXTREMELY inconvenient. Childish dancing ensues..


Loki had only been locked in the SHIELD cage for 40 minutes when he was reminded. According to his plan, he would just relax, enjoy the solitude until Banner went green as he wanted. Only, he hadn't factored in the events of the past few days.

Asgardians had normally, quite a convenient biology, akin to that of the Time Lords, from Gallifrey. Like the Time Lords, their bladders could retain a lot more liquid than humans. As Asgardians liked to party with alcohol, this came quite handy. This did not apply to Loki, however, as he was not Asgardian. Frost Giants were almost the same, but Loki was not technically a Frost Giant anymore, nor an Asgardian. He was himself, blue with red eyes at certain times, but regardless, had grown up with an almost human bladder. Only almost. His limit was a bit less than that of his brother.

It had been three days since he'd been at his HQ, with Selvig and the others. He knew he definitely went to the loo there, before going to Germany, specifically with the intention of avoiding the museum bathrooms. Unfortunately for him, what followed, was him getting captured, and put an empty cage.

He felt the uncomfortable pressure in his bladder, politely reminding him of how much time had passed. The need didn't feel that bad, so he tried to ignore it. It was annoying, and really bad timing, but if his spear was as interesting to his captors as he hoped, he'd be out soon.

20 more minutes passed, and his need had gotten worse. He had to keep moving to keep himself from doing anything too obvious, like grabbing himself or crossing his legs, keeping in mind the camera looking straight at him.

He was starting really need the loo now. Now he started looking for options. The most obvious solution involved mentioning his problem to Fury. He cast that aside instantly. He only ever admitted his needs to his brother, so getting assistance from the leader of the organization holding him prisoner, would be beyond humiliating. He started to wonder why Fury hadn't put a toilet in the cage with him. He knew he had shown godlike abilities, but still LOOKED human enough, so Fury should have no reason not to assume he'd need it. He realized it was probably a mix of an oversight, plus the expectation that he might eventually be tired of captivity and tell them the location of the Tesseract. Which is something Loki would gladly give up at this point, for the sake of relief. If it hadn't been for the fact that he really didn't know, where it was. He hadn't lied to his brother. So at this moment, he was stuck. In an empty cage with a very NOT empty bladder.

He started grabbing his crotch to manage his problem, no longer thinking of the security camera. Thankfully, no one looking at the screen noticed.

He then started hopping up and down. Now, the Avengers noticed. The first to spot it was Natasha. She asked the room:

"Hey, guys, what's up with Loki?"

Thor was with Bruce, and didn't see anything. Fury checked out the screen, showing Loki's hopping.

"I dunno. Maybe he's doing Asgardian calisthenics or something. Whatever, he's weird. He can do what he wants.", he replied, making a note to ask Thor later. The fact that he didn't care, didn't mean he wasn't curious.

Captain Rogers mused, "Looks restless. Maybe he doesn't like small spaces."

"Well, then he shouldn't have stolen from SHIELD. He's got plenty of space. If it fits the Hulk, he's got no problem.", Fury replied.

A few more minutes passed, and now Loki was really starting to get desperate. He wouldn't have noticed the camera if he stared right at it. All his focus was on not wetting himself in his prison cell. He was doing a quite obvious dance and a nervous expression.

Steve was the only one paying attention to the screen. He saw Loki making a spectacle of himself, dancing up and down nervously. He made the correct assumption and alerted Agent Romanoff

"I think I figured out what's wrong with Loki.", he said, pointing at the potty-dancing Asgardian.

"Is it just me, or is he doing a pee-pee dance?", Agent Romanoff asked, realizing the same as Steve.

"Hey, I may have been frozen for 70 years, but I know what really needing to go the bathroom looks like.", Steve said in agreement.

"Well, what we do? We can't let him out, he'll escape.", Nat reminded him.

"You seriously think he's faking it?", Steve asked.

"Of course not, but we gotta think about security.", Nat replied.

"Well, I'm more worried about his bladder. We gotta do something.", Steve said, concerned.

They resolved to ask Thor for advice. After all, it was his brother. Thor barely needed a glimpse of his brother, to see the problem.

 _Oh Loki..,_ Thor thought to himself.

"You're sure, there's no way to transport him to the toilet, without him having a chance to escape?", Thor asked.

Agent Romanoff nodded.

"Well, I know my brother's limits well. He won't be able to last much longer. I need to help my brother. He's done damage to your world, but he doesn't deserve humiliation. I suggest we lower a bucket through the ceiling of the cage. You can close the roof in mere moments."

Fury came in, asking Thor about the hopping. He clarified the reason, the fact that his brother was now in dire straits, and the suggested solution.

"What I don't get is why didn't ask for the bathroom, BEFORE the cage. And don't tell me 'he didn't need to go then' ", Fury asked.

Cap and Thor both gave him a look, as that happened to be EXACTLY the reason. Fury rolled his eyes.

The four of them agreed on Thor's bucket idea. They proceeded to lower a bucket down into Loki's cell. As soon as Thor left his brother and he saw the camera switch off, Loki ran to the bucket, unzipped and let loose, to his immense relief. Loki decided he'd 100% ask for his brother's assistance if caught short while imprisoned again. While Cap would keep an eye out for Loki, the rest of his stay at SHIELD, albeit unnecessarily, as the Helicarrier was hit by Hulk-mania shortly after..

The End.


End file.
